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April 2006   01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
Posted by ovalescent on 2006.04.26 at 00:17
Man today I was riding to work on my motorcycle and a mutant rape-gang started chasing me, right?

So I gunned it through the automatic doors at Wal-Mart and drove right into the frickin' store! I motored on over to the sports section and grabbed up all the doe estrus they had (with my non-throttle hand of course) and hurled them at the mutants. The smell drove them crazy and they soon set upon each other, a huge morass of tendrils, claws and feelers.

I hear it took the police and the Wal-Mart loss prevention team two days to get it all cleaned up!

Anyway, I finally got to work and it was time for spring cleaning. We spent eight hours killing rats the size of great danes with nothing but fire extinguishers and gumption. We're supposed to get hammers in May if the home office decides there's room in our store's budget!

I have to leave now, the horse tranquilizers and the laxatives are kicking in simultaneously!


Posted by spamyoucantswim on 2006.03.14 at 01:16
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Music is for nerds!
This is an entry! This community is for people whose lives are probably not as exciting as they'd like them to be. Join and tell some lies!